As I tried to explain, I had thought I should write this down somewhere! I don't have your typical "Book of Shadows" or "Dream Journal", or whatever it is a normal pagan does. Maybe I should start one, but that is another post for another time. So back to the topic at hand...will the dead actually receive your letter?
Depends on what you are meaning. Will the soul of the person you knew get the message that you want to pass on to them? Yes. Will the soul of the person you knew get an exact copy of the letter you wrote on the "other side", be able to sit down and open the envelope? No. While it is awfully romantic to think of your dearly departed holding the letter in their hands and smiling at your handwriting...they are not going to literally get your letter.
So then what's the point? If they don't get a copy of the letter, what's the point in writing one in the first place?! Wouldn't it do the same thing if the words were just spoken out loud?
Well, writing a letter and burning it may not be as useless as it may seem. There's two different aspects that I look at in this situation, and both are equally important. You have the mental aspect and the metaphysical aspect; both will be touched on as I go further into details.
When you write something down, you are performing a very simple form of magic. You are taking an idea and giving it a physical form on the paper. It is said that words have power, and they do, but it is not the letters nor the sound that the word has that gives it its power. It is the meaning that those letters convey. For example, a couple of 'g's, an 'r' and an 'i', an 'e' and an 'n', can either spell ginger or a racial slur that begins with 'n'. This does not mean those letters have complex power, but the idea those letters represent when formed into words. I'll have to do another entry on the power of word later on sometime, but for now our focus is the fact you now has a physical form to what you are trying to convey to a soul that is no longer in reach. But hidden in that point is that just because writing a letter can be considered magic does not mean you have to find a strict template to construct your letter. While the words are important, they are second in this process. This is much different from talking to the wind, your words still carry emotion and therefore energy/power behind them. But when you are in the process of writing a letter, all of that becomes much more focused. It is the difference between a finely forged blade and one quickly hammered from a rail road spike. Both can get the job done and there are plenty of other variables. Just as a blade made from a rail road spike can be finished to look attractive and hold a fine edge, if your gift is in speaking so that it easily moves others into action than perhaps speaking your message is a better route for you. Similarly, one can forge a blade that is crooked, bent, and fractures easily; if you write a letter like you write a Twitter message you may be missing the point.
Writing a physical letter also helps mentally with closure. When those we love die, there are a million different things we wish we had said to them or wish they could have been here to share with us. When we speak it is often with the expectation that someone will answer us. In the best case we are standing face to face with someone. In today's age, unfortunately most communication takes place across the vast network of communication devices we have at our disposal. Either way, when we speak to another person we are expecting some kind of reply; to hear a voice responding back. Even if we consciously know that person is not there, our brains still try and play out a conversation. Reflect back on a time when you try to plan a confrontation with a friend. Most will go over words that they think they may say, and their minds fill in the rest of how they believe that person will respond. Some are gifted in spirit communication and this is not an issue, only you will know if this variable will be a hindrance to you.
The act of sending a letter; writing said letter, addressing an envelope, sending it on its way, ect... We hope for a reply, but we are assuming that our letters get to their destination. This is how we send Holiday cards, packages, and even our bills (at least we used to!). We've learned that when a letter goes out...it goes to who it needs to. You have the ability to say what is in your heart, and get it out knowing that the message is sent, but also the comfort of feeling it is going 'somewhere'. Writing to the deceased in this manner allows for the comfort of the mind and soul, even if they're not going to be opening an envelope and smiling at your handwriting.
I had stated writing is one of the simplest forms of magic, and this is important because you don't have to concentrate as a complicated ritual demands your concentration. Emotions have enough power on their own, and you are giving them form by putting pen to paper. Consider this the first half of a 'spell' or ritual, or whatever term you wish to give to it. Write everything you want to say. Screw the overly formal writing...write as you want them to receive it. Let this be an accurate representation of what you want to send out, not some watered down, structured, bla bla bla. This, however, does not mean you are encouraged to be a belligerent cur because you're too lazy to be respectful. Didn't you ever hear "If you're not going to say anything nice, don't say anything at all"? I'm FAR from light and rainbows, but if you're writing because you love someone and you miss them...try to at least have some courtesy. I had mentioned don't write it like a Twitter status; there should be some level of balance between the idea of writing as you being a disrespectful twat because that's how you act all the time...and performing a respectful act of magic.
Not only is this going to be the first have of your ritual, but your brain is getting all of that emotional gunk that's weighing you down out! It may feel heavy as you write, but just wait till after it is all over. Our brains like to go over things, and over, and over, and over. The grieving process can be a bit like insanity in the way our brains are working at the time, they do things that is out of the normal. While I'm not usually a fan of "If it feels good it must be good" logic, this is one case where it is applicable. It will help a great deal if there are many things plaguing your thoughts to help get them out so you can resume your daily activities. Grieving takes a long time, it is why they call it a process. But there is on reason you can't gently help it along.
The second half is addressing your letter and sending it off. Whether this be by fire, by ocean, by river, by burial, by whatever means you choose. On the metaphysical side of things, you are releasing the energy (so all of your message directed at your deceased loved one) to do what it is meant to do. If you're doing any other kind of energy work, what good is it to pull up a bunch of energy for a purpose and then just let it sit there? It's like a surgeon going "YES! We got her open, I have the liver replacement on standby, all my tools are ready...I'm going to lunch"
On the more psychological side of things, I had discussed how beneficial it is to use this form of 'communication' above...this is only good if you have a way of sending it. You can't fool your brain into thinking they got your letter if you have it up on your alter and look at it every day. You're brain is going to say "Hey Stupid...um...aren't you gonna send that? OMG THEY CAN NEVER READ IT AGAIN!!!" Instead of it being a form of closure, it becomes an uncomfortable reminder that they're no longer in this world. So send it! Let it go where it needs to go! If it makes you feel better to envision them getting the physical letter...hey...go for it. Whatever you need to let it go.
***Please remember to use biodegradable materials if you are subjecting the rest of nature to your work. While the laminated glitter stationary can be pretty, don't throw it in the ocean so it chokes a sea turtle.***
