Black Widow comes to visit

Now this was brought on by my partner finding a black widow that was apparently living quite happily behind the bedroom curtain above his head.  She was fat, happy, had a nice collection of fly bodies.  We...however...were not.  Black widow has always, at least to both of us, been seen as really bad.  You hear about the bites, and how they hide.

Telling a few friends about it, they tried to convince me about how beneficial she was.  How she didn't bite either of us so she was looking out for us.  Spiders are for change.  Don't worry they're quite docile.  I don't know about you...but being told their docile...is not going to make me pick up one of these.  I don't like spiders, I don't think I've ever liked spiders.  As far as I'm concerned...they're unnatural creatures that can stay far away from me.  I know I'm supposed to see the beauty in each living thing, bla bla bla.  I know all this...I still don't...like...spiders.

All that being said.  So I try to be nice, because she sitting nicely and not moving.  Instead of spraying her with something deadly...I have Branden get her in a bottle.  I'm willing to pick her up and look at her from inside said bottle...but other than that.  She can stay there.  I try to thank her for not being an evil bitch and biting my face, and that I will try to understand what she has to say.  Which may not have been the nicest way to put it...but it was about all I had after having the crap scared out of me by having her IN MY BEDROOM.

I was figuring that this is the end of the encounter.  We searched the bedroom, took down all the curtains, moved the bed out.  Life seemed okay...or so I thought.  We found one or two more on the porch, but they were outside so I gave them passage.

In comes the not-a-dream sequences a few days later. 

I find myself on an open path, walking along happily...spider free.  There were some butterflies, some trees.  It was beautiful.  Walking along the path, just chillin'.

Along a different, side path, was a girl I hadn't spoken to in a long while because of a falling out I had with her.  Recently I had been considering talking to her.  I had missed our almost daily chats and I had hoped, maybe, there was a way to move past the problems.  I made a step towards that path and a HUGE black widow scurried out in front of the path.  And when I say huge, I mean her fang was about the size of my upper body.  HUGE. 

I had backed away...there was no way I was messing with that thing.  Forget it.

So back down the main path I went.  She stalked me in the woods next to the path...keeping my pace.  Do you know uneasy it makes someone when there is a monster black widow trying to keep you company?  Uneasy doesn't even begin to cut it.

I saw another path up ahead.  There was another girl with pink hair that I had a falling out with that I had started to think I needed to maybe talk with.  (Bit of back story, I had recently decided to step down off a podcast I was doing due to some differences of opinions and some unneeded stress when handling recording.  I felt it was just time to part ways.  The people on the roads are people that I had singed bridges with while recording on the podcast.  So while I didn't think I needed to fix everything, I was considering and readjusting my perceptions on situations)  I was curious how life had been for her and how her blogging was going.  She had stopped talking to me in some strange mess of something a co-host of mine had said. 

Being she was on the other side of the giant spider of doom...I walked towards her.  Not because I thought I wanted to be her friend.  But she was SO much better than the spider of doom.

Well...let me tell you...I would never think a spider would ever move that fast while being so big.  It darted out of the woods and poked me with its front leg and moved it's mandible mouth parts.  It sounded horrible to me, and I was convinced she was going to bite me.  She was so close I saw her eyes move.  Not the whole eye move...just the inside so I could see where she was looking.  While it was cool to see spider eyes move like a snake's eye...I tried to back away...very quickly...toward the girl I used to call a friend. 

That spider lifted itself high enough to go over me, walked over to the girl...and ate her.  Just ate her.  Didn't even bite and wrap like a normal spider.  No...this spider of doom had some strange mouth parts where it just ate her.  There was some web involved somewhere along the line...but at that point I was just so horrified I didn't really care.  She just ATE someone I knew.

Then she turns around and wiggles her little fang-mandible parts and makes a weird hissy-clicky-squeaky sound while waving her one front leg.  I just stood there, figuring I was going to get pounced and eaten.  But she just took a few spider steps toward me, did it again, and poked me with her leg hard enough to nudge me back towards the other path.

Then she lowered herself and just stopped and looked at me, occasionally moving her fang-mandible things.  I'd see her eyes catching glimpses of something moving, then going back to me.  She cleaned one of her feet.  I made a small step forward and she raised up very fast, taking a step towards me and poking me again with her leg.

I back up a few more steps toward the other path and she settles back down.  I don't really want to take my eyes off of her, but she seems somehow...strangely...calm and okay.  Which just geeks me out more that I'm somewhat okay with her being huge and that close to me.

When I glance down the other path there's no clear distinction anymore to the end, it just kind of fades out.  I look back and she is still calmly watching me.  I slowly side-step to be more directly on the path...and still she doesn't move. 

Just to be safe, I walk backwards down the path so I can see her...what she's doing.  She slowly moves to the intersection of the two paths.  She still, for some reason, is less intimidating as she moves closer to my place of being...but she stops at the crossroads.  We stare at each other for a while, I hear clicking of fang-mandible things.  Then the strangest voice whispers in my head.  It sounds like someone who's been smoking a carton a day while gargling gravel.  "Time...move...on"  There was a long pause, more furious mandible-fang clicking.  "Time...move...on...go...now...new...chapters"  The mandible clicking slowed and if I am to believe what I experienced, she let go a wave of relieve and gentleness almost like one would feel when a little girl would sigh as she flopped down in a bed of wildflowers.

She then backed up a bit and moved into the woods.  I woke as she moved out of sight.